141: The Power of Self-Reflection in Parenting and Personal Growth- Elle

In this episode of the Young Dad Podcast, host Jay interviews Ellie, a mother of four and a narrative therapist. They discuss narrative trauma care and the importance of telling our stories accurately with the help of others. They also explore the challenges of parenting and the impact of shame on children's emotional development. Jay emphasizes the need for fathers to teach their sons healthy ways to express emotions and break the cycle of shame. Ellie highlights the importance of self-reflection and understanding the root causes of our reactions. In this part of the conversation, Jey discusses his need for validation and how it stems from not receiving it consistently throughout his life. Elle emphasizes the importance of understanding one's own story and how it influences their behavior. They also discuss the challenges of parenting and the need for self-work. Jey highlights the importance of male role models and the role they play in children's lives. Elle shares tips for maintaining healthy relationships and reconnecting with oneself. They conclude by encouraging self-compassion and seeking support when needed.

Takeaways
Narrative trauma care involves writing a story of harm and sharing it with a group to receive care and support.
Children often internalize shame and blame themselves for negative experiences, which can impact their emotional development.
Fathers should teach their sons healthy ways to express emotions and break the cycle of shame.
Self-reflection and understanding the root causes of our reactions can help us respond to our children's emotions in a more supportive way. Validation is important and can stem from not receiving it consistently throughout one's life.
Understanding one's own story and how it influences behavior is crucial for personal growth.
Parenting provides opportunities for self-work and growth.
Having strong male role models is important for children's development.
Maintaining healthy relationships requires attunement and curiosity.
Reconnecting with oneself can be achieved through somatic practices and mindfulness.
Self-compassion is essential in parenting and personal growth.
Seeking support and asking for help is important for young parents.
Options for payment and flexible arrangements are available for counseling services.

Sound Bites
"Putting shame where shame belongs."
"Balancing confidence and acceptance of mistakes."
"Teaching boys that it's okay to cry and express emotions."
"I just want that validation that I did something good, that I did good things."
"Each child brings something where I find myself having big feelings or big reactions, that's my cue of where I need to do my own work."
"It's very easy for us dads, especially that are being dads right now of our children, to kind of quickly snap and be like, 'Hey, you're being a bully to your younger sister right now.'"

Chapters
00:00 Exploring the Impact of Shame and Emotional Regulation
07:52 Addressing Childhood Trauma through Narrative Therapy
30:04 Navigating Childhood Experiences and Adult Behavior
32:17 The Journey of Parenting and Personal Growth
34:57 Reconnecting with Oneself Through Somatic Practices
37:49 Support and Resources for New Parents
41:26 The Role of Male Role Models and Emotional Support in Parenting

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