Turd Cutters

Howdy, y'all! It ain't Monday, sure ain't Wednesday, but by gum, it's FRIDAY, and that means we've got another hootenanny episode of "Critters For Dinner" with Patton and Jason comin' your way! Now, Patton, bless her heart, ain't in the mood for cookin' today, so she's opted for some rotisserie chicken from Wallyworld. Ain't nothin' wrong with that – it's finger-lickin' good and easy on the wallet!

The news cycle's been spinnin' like a fidget spinner this week, but don't you fret, we're here to unravel it all, CFD style.

Now, get this – did y'all know that there's folks out there with a "turd cutter" right in their bathrooms? Yep, whether it's a knife or them fancy scissors, a good chunk of America's in this boat. We're thinkin' about cookin' up our own "pooper scooper" to sell at the merch shop. Most people have one built into their butthole, but some people require additional cutting capabilities.

Patton, she's one of them basic white gals who can't live without her pumpkin spice. Says her new soap's gonna make her turd cutter smell like a pumpkin spice special starfish – ain't that somethin'!

And where in tarnation is Joe? Is the deep state still playin' musical chairs with him even this close to the finish line? Looks like it! We'll just have to wait and see what crawls out from under that rock.

Patton's also introducin' Jason to "Trailer Park Tales," and Jason, he's remindin' Patton to catch Dusty Slay – he's a stand-up comedian from the South who's one of the funniest comedians out there (plus he brings a great southern twist to his shows)

Y'all enjoy the show! We're mighty thankful for each and every one of you for pitchin' in and supportin' "Critters For Dinner." Like, comment, and share this here show with all your loved ones.

Today's shoutout goes to @Lefteyelouie, the one and only §äĉƙ §ẁīŋĝəř. Keep swingin' that sack, Louie!

Thanks for joinin' us, y'all come back now, ya hear?