Dysfunctional Relationships: The Egos ‘Special Relationship,’ Why Most Relationships Don’t Last

The ego is a self-absorbed, self-serving narcissist who endlessly craves attention and sees other people as pawns in its delusional game. Is it any wonder that its relationships – the special relationship – almost always fails or is an exercise in misery?

If you identify with your ego, then your relationships could be headed for trouble. The ego turns love into a battlefield and intimate connections into a minefield. Special relationships are fear-based love stories that often include endless blame, anger, guilt and despair. The ego’s ‘special relationship’ is basically a concoction of neediness, possessiveness, and fear, dressed up as love.

The ego’s special relationship is all about “specialness”—making someone the center of your universe, not because of genuine affection, but because they fill a void. It’s not about mutual respect or growth; it’s about ownership and control. The ego convinces you that this person is the answer to all your problems, the missing piece of your puzzle.

The ego demands constant validation, and when the honeymoon phase ends, and real life begins, the cracks in the foundation start to show. The person who was once your savior becomes the villain in your story. The ego, ever the master of deflection, shifts from adoration to blame, from love to resentment. The relationship falters under the weight of un-met expectations.

The ego feeds on anxiety, turning every minor disagreement into a catastrophic event. It loves to play the victim, convincing you that your partner is the source of all your problems. Blame becomes a weapon, and communication turns into a battleground. The ego especially thrives on guilt and attack, using them to justify its own existence. Every argument, every cold shoulder, is fuel for the ego’s fire. When a relationship is driven by the ego, it becomes a vicious cycle of blame, anger, attack, guilt and despair.

Is there a way out of this mess? Yes, but it requires stepping off the stage and refusing to play the ego’s game. True connection isn’t about filling a void or finding someone to complete you; it’s about respect, understanding, real love, forgiveness and growth.

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