Don’t Call It Monkeypox (Or You’re Racist)

A couple of years ago, there was a virus called Monkeypox, named that way because the disease was first identified in laboratory monkeys. But then the World Health Organisation in their infinite wisdom renamed it to the less controversial Mpox. Apparently, the previous name was upsetting to some medium-sized forest-dwelling primates. I’m not exactly sure how it was offensive, but it was. But with the brand new name, we can all rest assured that no-one will ever associate this terrible disease with a tropical, tree-dwelling primate! The way they have cleverly hidden the word monkey by using the single letter M is an act of genius. A masterstroke. I wonder how many experts it took?

Perhaps you think I’m joking, but this is the actual release by the World Health Organisation which was made almost two years ago, back in November 2022. “Following a series of consultations with global experts…”, as I alluded to before, yes, it actually took global experts to come up with the name Mpox from the original Monkeypox. As I said, it’s a stroke of genius! Continuing, “WHO will begin using a new preferred term ‘mpox’ as a synonym for monkeypox. Both names will be used simultaneously for one year while ‘monkeypox’ is phased out.”

And why, dear listener, did they decide to phase out the old name? I think you know… it was racist and stigmatising! Of course it was. The word ‘monkey’ is pure evil.

So a couple of years ago they said the name was being phased out after a transition period of one year, which would have occurred last year, but interestingly, on the Australian Government’s Department of Health website, although they do use the new name, they continue to also mention the old name.

Australia’s national broadcaster, the ABC, who are usually on top of all this woke language, even they continue to “deadname” the virus. They start off well in this article released today, “Mpox cases in Australia have risen by 570 per cent since July, but vaccination rates remain low”. But later in their article, “An unusual outbreak of monkeypox has now spread to at least 15 countries”. Also interestingly, the article mentions gay men no less than five times, “The real action that we need is that gay and bisexual men need to get vaccinated”, “gay and bisexual men”, “gay and bisexual men”, “gay and bisexual males”, “gay and bisexual men”. Surprisingly, despite the name change, those contracting mpox still report experiencing stigma. Perhaps it’s not the name causing the stigma?

According to the Government’s Immunisation Handbook, “Mpox, previously known as monkeypox, is a viral zoonotic disease”, which means it can pass from animals to humans. It’s “usually self-limiting”, which means it typically resolves without treatment, and, vaccination is primarily recommended for “sexually active gay, bisexual or other men who have sex with men”. Other men who have sex with men? Aren’t they gay men? Or are they trying to suggest that heterosexual men occasionally have sex with other men, you know, just for a laugh? What do they mean by “other men”? I guess I just can’t keep up with all this woke language.

Interestingly, the World Health Organisation’s Chinese page refers to the disease as “Hóu dòu”, or “Ho-dough” if you want to pronounce it with an Aussie accent, as in, “That ho has a lot of dough”. Sorry, that was offensive. You know what else is offensive? This Chinese name for mpox. “Hóu” literally means monkey, while “dòu” means a pimple, or pustule. So actually, the World Health Organisation are only insisting that the English name is racist and needs changing, but not for other languages. Didn’t you know it’s only the West that is racist? Any surprises there?

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