it's not depression, it's understanding what's in session

look at this beautiful sunset
my Orthodox friends would calls that iconography
you've gotta be familiar w/ that sigh...CLASSIC ag/american/westernite
i started doin this back in 2017 n i feel like i've aged 100yrs since then
my excitement is sporadic n short-lived
i understand both the meaning n futility of life
i don't lie to myself about my religion in relation to this shit world
man, i wish this was bourbon
we can't have horseplay while we make "music"
90s generation is right
watching myself like this gets me all weepy
it doesn't matter what i say, nothin is gonna take this pain away
ten seconds later i'm back to my disillusion
my most embarrassing confession: desperate for distraction
i ain't gettin none cos i ain't supposed to
what you're doin ain't workin but you still keep doin it
i'm not that good at lying to myself
many that have mastered the art of self-deception don't hear themselves lying
it's not a lie to them
too high to die, think of the meat puppets
i wish i hadn't quit drinkin n smokin
i'd smoke a whole carton in one sitting
can you see my mood lifting
i guess this does change sumin if only for a short while