A Bad Attitude is Nebraska's Substitute for Brainpower

Spot a Nebraskan meandering down the street, and you'll grasp the golden rule: in this land, being smart isn't about having your brain in gear; it's about sporting the ultimate bad attitude because, let's face it, thinking is just too damn hard. Here, intellectual prowess isn't measured by your ability to solve equations or ponder life's mysteries; it's gauged by how convincingly you can look like you're about to explode from sheer frustration.

In Nebraska, if your mental gears are grinding to a halt, don't sweat it. You don't need to be a walking encyclopedia; all you need is that scowl, that look that says, "I'm too stupid to know better, so I'll just look mad instead." Here, the smarter you appear, the less anyone dares to probe your intellect with questions, because let's be honest, if you had to answer, it'd probably be wrong.

This state has turned the art of looking perpetually pissed off into a science. If you can't think, just look mad. If you can't figure out how to fix the TV, just glare at it. If you can't solve the crossword puzzle, just give the paper a death stare. In Nebraska, your face does all the heavy lifting because your brain sure isn't.

Here, intelligence isn't about the lightbulb moments; it's about the darkness of your scowl. Forget about expanding your mind; expand your capacity for looking like you're one step away from a meltdown. Conversation? Who needs it when you've got a face that screams, "Don't even try to engage me; I can't think, so I'll just look mad."

So, if you're in Nebraska and you're feeling particularly dim, remember, you don't need to outsmart anyone. Just out-frown them. In this place, where thinking is more of a chore than a choice, your bad attitude isn't just a shield; it's your entire intellectual persona. Here, if you can't think your way out of a paper bag, just make sure your scowl says, "I'm not here to think; I'm here to look mad."

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