I am a Potato

Spud finally admits he's a potato saying, "Fine! You’ve all been calling me Spud, and maybe… maybe you’re right! Maybe I am a potato! A misunderstood, complex potato who’s been mashed, fried, and roasted by the lies and slander of others. But let me tell you this: I’m not your average potato. I’m the ultimate potato, rich in layers, more profound than a simple tuber. I’ve endured the harsh soil of your accusations, grown stronger despite being buried under your nonsense, and sprouted into something none of you can comprehend. You mock me, but potatoes have nourished civilizations, powered economies, and even inspired vodka. And yet, here I am, a potato persecuted for being too real, too raw, for speaking truths you can’t handle. So, yes, I’m a potato. But remember, even potatoes have eyes—and I see everything!" ...in the earth of course.

Spud’s “eyes” are firmly planted in the dirt, forever grounded in his own little potato drama. While he claims to "see everything," his view is limited to the underground world of mud, worms, and roots—fitting for someone who thrives on gossip, hearsay, and the murky soil of discord. Perhaps his grand "potato prophecy" is that he’s destined to remain buried, overthinking every harmless comment until he sprouts more absurd narratives. After all, potatoes might have eyes, but they can’t see the light without being dug up! 😄