UNIT A Matter Of Degree.

Note: all tracks recorded under the names Academy 23 or UNIT are the property of DNA Records and protected by copyright, regardless of who wrote the works concerned. This is a track from our 52nd album ‘Science & Sanity’.

Oh how I wish I had a degree,
then at last nobody would dare to laugh at me.
I’d solve your queries incidentally in cultural studies or history.
Ben would be amazed to hear me quote Foucault or Robespiere;
I’d give a dissertation about Celine instead of simply looking mean.
The theory of equivalence would cause me no ambivalence;
we’d split infinitives now and then, in any other base as well as ten.
Pie charts, bar graphs, diagrams and 4-D parallelograms,
quadratic functions I would blithely wield
and so my brilliance would be thus revealed
as I skipped through any Hermetian scalar field.

I could prove that sociology had no value
by showing fluctuations in social trends;
if you lost your temper and flew off at a tangent,
I could calculate the angle it subtends.
The mensuration of rectilinear integers
would give me but a simple momentary pause;
and if I factorised a fraction as a figure,
would you let me do experiments on yours?
Oh how I wish I had a degree,
then at last nobody would dare to laugh at me.
I’d solve your problems oh so easily in mathematics or philosophy.

By now you must have realised my intellect is synthesised.
But if I could be born again, I’d have a less primordial brain:
should Garlen call, I would not fall flat on my face – I’d know it all.
I’d understand arithmetic instead of being so bloody thick;
through algebra I’d boldly tread –
I’d even understand things Nathan said.
Quadratic functions I would gladly wield
and so my brilliance would be thus revealed
as I ran through any Hermetian vector field.

Andy Martin – Vocals, Hammond Organ, Piano, Moog, Tenor Saxophone.
Keilan Knight – 5 String Bass Guitar.
Colin Murrell – Drums, Vibraphone, Alto Saxophone.
+
Robert George and Ben Shapiro – Voices.

Text & Music – Andy Martin
+ two quotes from Die Forelle (1817) by Franz Schubert.

You may be interested in these other tracks by UNIT, all of which are available on Rumble and Bit Chute.

The Earth Is Finite.
Quis Custodiet Ipsos Custodes.
Osaka Boy.
Barbara’s Bridge.
A Study Of Alkaline Metals.
The 613 Mitzvot.
The Unwanted.
A Song For Eric Cooper.
Amery Hill School.
Realise Your Potential.
1985.
Resonance Rocks Out.
Yom Kippur.
The Noahide Laws.
Hup Soon Heng.
Eagle.
When We Were Friends.

IMPORTANT NOTE: The paypal address is now [email protected]. Donations to our finances can also be made to this address if you wish to support our future work.

In addition we have 7 books available in PDF format free on request.

Not In Front Of The Children: A Study Of Grange Hill 1978 – 1993
Fast – Clean – Cheap (A Compendium)
Civil Disobedience – A Collection Of Short Stories For Children
Behind The Bike Shed – A Novel For Children
Grange Hill 1994 – 2008
The No Nation Interview
Birds, Bridges & Boys – Short Stories For Adults