What Red Pill Gets Wrong About Attraction - Dr. Paul Eastwick and Eli Finkel

Dr. Paul Eastwick and Eli Finkel are two of America's most prominent psychologists studying mate preferences and romantic relationships.

In a world where the red pill has adopted evolutionary biology to support ideas of mate value and hypergamy, I wanted to understand what the research really says about mating and dating.

We also discussed which partner preferences women overstate the importance of, how to date from a place of strength, and good/bad portrayals of romantic love in movies.

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Paul and Eli's Love Factually podcast - https://lovefactually.substack.com/
Eli's book, The All-Or-Nothing Marriage - https://amzn.to/40Ih81A

00:00 The Importance of Smell in Attraction
02:39 Stated vs. Revealed Preferences in Dating
05:47 The Role of Types in Romantic Preferences
08:46 Gender Differences in Dating Preferences
11:44 The Impact of Expectations on Relationships
14:47 The Flexibility of Preferences Over Time
17:47 The Dangers of Rigid Dating Criteria
20:43 The Influence of Life Changes on Relationships
23:38 The Role of Compatibility in Long-Term Relationships
26:45 The Balance Between Goals and Flexibility in Dating
34:07 The Erosion of Relationship Preferences
36:21 The Core of Long-Term Relationships
37:46 Romantic Films and Relationship Science
40:24 The Illusion of the Perfect Partner
41:38 The Variability of Attraction
45:24 The Impact of Choice on Dating
47:16 Dating in the Age of Apps
50:16 The Challenge of Commitment
51:52 Dating from Strength vs. Weakness
56:00 The Right Amount of Choice in Dating
01:01:42 Exploring Film and Desire
01:08:05 Kink, Morality, and Power Dynamics
01:15:39 The Evolution of Marriage and Relationships
01:18:27 The Impact of Evolutionary Psychology on Relationships
01:25:43 Navigating Modern Relationships and Male Bonding