Chinese Domination

China…

What can’t they do?

Their infrastructure is second to none.

Their pandas (as we’ll discover in this video) are adorable.

Their education system is unsurpassed.

And their global reach?

Oof.

I don’t think Americans understand that chanting “We’re number one!” doesn’t actually mean we’re number one.

Our only hope for the future is in their declining birth rate.

I mean, ours is falling, too—except for among the least educated among us—but we have a secret weapon: immigrants.

Oh, wait.

Not anymore.

Well, I guess we’re doomed, because China does everything better than the United States.

And, as I discovered, they even have better, more well-behaved lonely young men than we do.

Our young men are angry.

Theirs appear to be peaceful.

We lose again…