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Suno - Nothing Special About Fifteen
This is a song I whipped up on Suno.com for my niece, who turns fifteen on February 22, 2025. I hope you can take a joke, kid, especially since this is pretty much what I thought about turning fifteen when I did it back in 1994; about the only privilege turning fifteen gets you these days is a learner's permit for driving a car, which it's my understanding isn't as popular with your generation as it was for mine. (Theoretically—i.e. if anyone's hiring—you can also get yourself a part-time job; but you were already allowed to do that when you turned fourteen.)
Take my word (and the song's) for it, however: NC-17 movies, tobacco, alcohol, seedy establishments, and car rentals (none of which will be legal for you on your next two birthdays either) are privileges that don't really live up to the hype anyway. NC-17 movies are all either disgusting or disturbing (or both) nightmare fuel, tobacco is foul-smelling-and-tasting carcinogenic poison (in all forms), alcohol is bitter and it burns going down (which is why indigenous American tribes sometimes called it "firewater"), no girl in her right mind would be caught DEAD in a strip club, and car rentals are expensive (which is why I've only done it once, and that was for an emergency). My advice to you if you want to do something fun for your birthday is: celebrate it with some of those Shirley Temples the song mentions; without the alcohol, margaritas taste great!
Lyrics:
[Verse 1]
Got your cake and candles lit;
Fifteen years of age you've hit,
But you can't smoke, or drink a beer:
None of that for you this year!
[Chorus]
You're fifteen and folks still say "No!"
No cancer sticks; no booze can flow,
NC-17 you can't view,
And no renting a car for you.
[Verse 2]
Birthday wishes flowing in,
Can't take puffs, nor shots of gin;
Got a permit to drive a car,
But you can't sit at the bar.
[Chorus]
You're fifteen and folks still say "No!"
No cancer sticks; no booze can flow,
NC-17 you can't view,
And no renting a car for you.
[Verse 3]
You can't party at the pub;
You can't visit the strip club.
Some margaritas you could get,
But just Shirley Temples, yet.
[Chorus]
You're fifteen and folks still say "No!"
No cancer sticks; no booze can flow,
NC-17 you can't view,
And no renting a car for you.
[Verse 4]
Next year comes your "sweet" sixteen!
Still can't watch stuff too obscene.
You're still too young, kid, and too green;
Sweet? What does that even mean?
[Bridge]
It might not seem too fair, kid, but trust
Us when we say adulthood's a bust!
The novelty of vices wears off awfully fast;
Ten years hence, you'll wish to be here in your past!
[Instrumental]
[Chorus]
You're fifteen and folks still say "No!"
No cancer sticks; no booze can flow,
NC-17 you can't view,
And no renting a car for you.
-
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