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Its Starcrash Not Star Wars
Starcrash (Italian: Scontri stellari oltre la terza dimensione, lit. 'Starfights Beyond the Third Dimension') is a 1978 space opera film directed and co-written by Luigi Cozzi, and starring Marjoe Gortner, Caroline Munro, David Hasselhoff, Joe Spinell and Christopher Plummer.
David Hasselhoff is known for his work on Baywatch and Knight Rider, but his performance in Star Crash leaves much to be desired. His line delivery is stilted and awkward, and his emotional range is practically nonexistent. It's as if he's simply reciting his lines without any understanding of the character he's playing. Overall, his performance is a major detractor from the film's already shaky foundation. The supporting cast of Star Crash doesn't fare much better than David Hasselhoff. With wooden performances and lackluster chemistry, it's hard to become invested in any of the characters. Caroline Munro, who plays the main female protagonist, lacks any real depth or development, and her interactions with Hasselhoff feel forced and unconvincing. It's clear that the actors were given little to work with, and the result is a lackluster ensemble that fails to engage the audience.
In a distant galaxy, a starship searches for the evil Count Zarth Arn. Closing in on a planet, the ship is attacked by a mysterious weapon which drives the crew insane. Three escape pods launch, but the ship crashes into the atmosphere of the planet and is destroyed.
Meanwhile, smugglers Stella Star and Akton run into the Imperial Space Police, led by robot sheriff Elle and Police Chief Thor. Akton and Stella escape by jumping into hyperspace. When they emerge, they discover an escape pod from the attacked starship, and in it, a disoriented survivor. The police track their hyperspace trail and apprehend them. Tried and convicted of piracy, they are sentenced to life in prison on separate planets. Stella escapes from her prison, but Elle and Thor recapture her, only to inform her the authorities have canceled her sentence; she is taken to an orbiting ship, where she is reunited with Akton. They are contacted by the Emperor of the Galaxy, who thanks them for recovering the starship survivor. The Emperor orders Stella and Akton to find a secret weapon of immense power which Count Zarth Arn has hidden away. They are offered clemency if they help find two more missing escape pods as well as the mothership, one of which may contain the Emperor's only son. Star Crash is a prime example of what can go wrong when a film lacks a strong script, competent direction, and a talented cast. From its laughable special effects to its wooden performances, there's little to redeem this sci-fi disaster. While it may have gained a cult following for its so-bad-it's-good charm, it's clear that Star Crash missed the mark in nearly every aspect.
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