"Elon Musk Runs the Government Now (And It’s a Disaster)"

"Ladies and gentlemen, gather ‘round, because today we’re diving into the latest episode of Elon Musk’s Guide to Running the Government. That’s right—Elon Musk, the guy who brought us flamethrowers, self-driving cars that occasionally drive themselves into fire trucks, and a social media platform that’s now a haven for conspiracy theories and crypto scams. What could possibly go wrong when he’s put in charge of, oh, I don’t know… the entire federal government?

Let’s start with Elon’s first masterstroke: sending an email to every federal employee asking them to list five things they did last week. Five things! Because nothing says 'efficient governance' like asking a CIA agent to summarize stopping a nuclear war in bullet points for some random HR inbox. And if they don’t respond? Well, that’s a resignation! Because who needs due process when you have vibes?

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