Why does Gollum have ASS?

💍 THE LORD OF THE RINGS: GOLLUM – DUMPY OF DOOM 💍

Ayo, why did nobody tell me Gollum been hiding the most powerful artifact of all? Forget the One Ring—this man got the One Dump. Back arched like a bridge in Rivendell, moving like he been training glutes in the depths of Mount Doom. Every time he sneaks, it’s like he’s trying to smuggle two ringwraiths under that loincloth. Sauron ain’t even need the Ring—he just wanted a glimpse of the goods.

You think this game’s about stealth? Nah, it’s a showcase. They gave this man crazy cake and expected me to focus on the story? Impossible. Gollum moving through Middle-earth like he’s leading the Fellowship from the back.

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~STEHTO

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