OMG! The Walls Are Closing In!

When I was about eight, I started noticing the walls in our old house creaking at night. It wasn’t just a little squeak—it was a full-on groan, like the house was stretching after a long day. One night, I couldn’t take it anymore. I tiptoed downstairs, found my dad sipping coffee in the kitchen, and demanded, “Why’s the house making noises?” He looked at me over his mug, dead serious, and said, “Oh, that? The room’s shrinking. Happens every night. By morning, it stretches back out.” Then he went back to reading his newspaper like he’d just explained the weather.