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Shooting From The Hip - 46 - Attachment Codependency Interdependence Interconnectedness
Attachment:
-affection, fondness, or sympathy for someone or something (Oxford Dictionary)
-Attachment theory: of the believer to his/her spiritual figure are similar to those between the child & his/her parents -psychology of religion research explores the ways that a belief in God can fulfill the criteria of an attachment figure
Codependency:
-psychological condition: a person of low self-esteem with strong desire for approval, acknowledgement -develops unhealthy attachment to another person & places the needs of others before their own -in exploitive way
excessive emotional or psychological reliance on a partner (illness or addiction)
Codependent People: -willing to make extreme personal sacrifices for their partner, just to feel good - codependent person will neglect themselves to please their partner -being needed by another person: necessary for a sense of purpose
relationships: 1 or both parties can be codependent
symptoms of codependency: low self-esteem, people-pleasing behaviors, difficulty setting boundaries, caretaking & dependency - codependent person may act submissively, needy, clingy, manipulate others to feel secure in relationship
-is a circular relationship in which 1 person needs another person, who in turn, needs to be needed
Buddhism attachment (Sanskrit: upadana) refers to people grasping or clinging to other people, objects, ideas, or experiences - cling to false views, including idea of separate or permanent self - considered a problem to be abandoned
-attachment to desire is the root of our suffering (Buddha) - desire itself is not necessarily the problem -the tendency to cling, grasp become attached to desires: leads to suffering
Impermanence:(the state or fact of lasting for only a limited period of time) awareness that possessions, life don't last forever, change & sadly people can leave, die
Address/Dissolve attachments:
1. Meditation: simply sit still & pay attention to the present moment
2. Compassion: Sanskrit: karuna -is the wish that others be free from suffering (Oxford: sympathetic, pity & concern for the sufferings or misfortunes of others)
3. Interdependence: dependence of 2 or more people or things on each other
4. Acceptance: in Buddhist terms, refers to our ability to stay present (Oxford: the action of consenting to receive or undertake something offered)
5. Expansiveness: great size; the fact that something covers a large area (
Significance of Expansive mind:
Mahayana Buddhism emphasizes a mindset that is inclusive & open to all beings
represents compassionate nature that characterizes genuine teacher
the importance of embracing all individuals with sympathy & understanding
expansive perspective fosters a sense of interconnectedness & compassion
Buddhist View: falling in love? - Love that involves clinging, lust, confusion, neediness, fear, or grasping to self would, in Buddhist terms, be seen as expressions of bondage & limitation
4 kinds of love taught & encouraged in classic Buddhist teachings: Lovingkindness, compassion, appreciative joy(refers to feeling happy for others with appreciative & unenvious attitudes), equanimity (mental calmness, composure & evenness of temper, especially in a difficult situation - in Buddhism: it means letting go of the reaction - Letting go of vested interests - one can feel aversion or desire & not act on it)
Interdependence: is central to Buddhism, which holds that all things come into being through the mutual interactions of various causes & conditions. No one can live entirely on their own, nor can any country or society exist in isolation
-(of two or more people or things) dependent on each other -Married couples are often interdependent(& sometimes Codependent)
the state of being dependent upon one another: mutual dependence -interdependence of the two nations' economies
Interconnectedness: the state of being connected with each other -important tenet in Buddhism about relationship with environment & each other about interconnectedness & interdependence of all life, such that all our actions have an effect on other lives & vice versa
a philosophical, spiritual idea: refers to the connection of all things - from nature to our personal experiences to the universe
Interdependence involves both partial dependence & partial in-dependence
Interdependence involves a balance of self & others within relationship: both parties working to "be present" & meet each other's physical & emotional needs in appropriate & meaningful ways
Interdependence theory: social exchange theory stating that interpersonal relationships are defined through interpersonal interdependence, which is the process by which interacting people influence one another's experiences
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