buy a product n eventually become a product

i cleaned my garage until 4am last night
a fine feature of OCD: hoarding
i've been collecting cold brew bottles since 2021 (lauren knows)
i greatly underestimated the magnitude of the problem
only one of em broke which was pretty amazing
we don't have to follow the rules, we have discernment
imma switch cds once we get on the freeway
yours truly hates the internet
you knew it was gonna happen again (coffee)
i only drank one cup last night, it sounds like a lie but i promise it ain't
*i only drank half this cup today
there is way too much shit in this car, surprise surprise
much like my alcoholism, once i started i couldn't stop
i don't take care of shit cos i know i will obsess about it
hyper focused for 6.5 hrs straight
i threw away soooo much crap, yawl just have no idea
i will cry about tossing anything no matter how useless
yawl remember that last church picnic when i was under a tree, crying
so distant from everything n everyone
that person in our head, courtesy of our ego
i guess imma have to talk in generics not specifics
accept whatever you are n try to be the best version of that
you don't have to fit into ANY box
try telling the general public that staring at a box is boring AF
i cannot be a submissive housewife OUTSIDE of my head
many realize this way too late
at least i know myself well enough to not overestimate my actual self
now if only i retained this information whenever i go shopping
women always have soooo many shoes
if only i had this product i won't feel like shit
it took me over 3yrs of being Orthodox to submit to God in regards to the veil
i don't shave under my arms cos i hate materialistic culture as well as propaganda as well as conforming to a society that i despise
serving the world does not serve humanity
instant gratification is just that
ag hates recording companies w/ an evangelical passion
i hardly shot any videos last week cos it was Holy week
i threw away soooo many tupperwear containers
when do i ever wanna throw shit away tho
sobbing in my garage at 3am reading old love notes
whenever you hear a talking heads song or a "crazy conspiracy theory" think about me
i wish i hadn't had to hurt those dudes in order to figure out that being alone was the only viable option
my last serious boyfriend is now married to a big black girl (which i am on the inside)
i want him to be happy n i am glad that he is, i couldn't do that for him
plenty of people don't deserve happiness cos they refuse to work for it
compassion doesn't usurp personal boundaries
exploitation n deception definitely love company as well
damnit i forgot stupidity!
i was gonna journal this whole fasting experience but that idea was centered around the person i wanna be instead of the person i actually am
my sense of structure is not regimented at all
the word disorder is misleading (but of course)
personality disorder just means personality problem
i dis the order of the world since it makes no sense
i love pink, it's one of the few stereotypically feminine things about me
gimme a label so i don't have to try any harder
since the rest of the world believes in time i gotta do it sometimes
i don't wanna bend over backwards to show up on time but i will if the thing is important enough
wearing headphones everywhere ain't cool
it ain't autistic people that give a fuck
technology+shitty politics has increased society's sensitivity
i don't need drugs but i do like em a lot
all plants can be good for you but they are really hard to use sparingly
drugs can put you back together OR they can turn you into a jigsaw puzzle
a lotta people say things to you but they're really just saying it to themselves