East Van Skate Shop - Skater Boi

Title: Solid Snake's EastVan Mission: Skate, Rest, Rebuild

Solid Snake steps out of the shadows—but this time, not into war-torn jungles or enemy strongholds. He’s in East Vancouver, standing in front of EastVan Streetwear, a gritty, graffiti-tagged clothing and skate shop. Flanked by skate legend Tony Hawk and pop-punk queen Avril Lavigne, Snake isn't here for stealth or sabotage. He's here for something different: to make Vancouver the skate and rest capital of the world.

Snake (lighting a cigarette, looking at the boarded-up storefront across the street):
"We’ve spent too long building cities like fortresses—full of concrete, cold corners, and hostility. I say it’s time to soften the edges. Let the people rest. Let the kids skate. Let the city breathe."

Inside the Shop
Tony Hawk inspects a custom EastVan deck featuring a pixelated fox and a cardboard box logo. Avril tries on a camo hoodie with a snake wrapped around a cherry blossom—streetwear meets stealthwear.

Snake nods at the designs.
"Camouflage isn’t just for war. It’s for blending in with beauty too."

He points at a map of the city taped to the wall, red marks scattered across it.
"This… is the city battlefield. But not for soldiers. For dreamers. Kids with boards. Homeless people with nowhere to go. People just trying to stay warm."

Snake’s Vision
Snake rolls out his urban recon plan:

Couch Bus Stops: "No more metal benches with spikes to keep the weary away. Let them sleep. Let them recharge. Give them dignity."

Sleepable Bus Seats: “New articulated buses with reclining sections, privacy curtains, and noise-dampening panels. No one left behind in the cold.”

Skate Zones: “Designated high-flow skating corridors—no more cops chasing kids off ledges. Put rails, banks, and kickers right into the sidewalks. Let freedom ride.”

Midnight Skate Patrols: Tony Hawk volunteers to lead monthly “Snake Patrol” night rides, where skaters patrol EastVan, hand out socks and sandwiches, and keep the peace.

Avril Speaks Up
Avril, dressed like a punk priestess of compassion, adds:
"This is punk diplomacy. It's not about tearing down the system—it’s about making it human again. Sleep and skate are rights. Not luxuries."

The Press Conference
Outside the shop, Snake addresses a gathering crowd of skaters, artists, and exhausted transit riders.
"Some people say this is idealism. I say it’s tactical urban kindness. You want a strong society? Let your people rest. Let them move. Let them create."

Tony flips his board and signs it. Avril sings an unplugged verse of “Complicated,” ending with:
"Why’d you have to go and make the buses so hostile?"

Final Words
Snake pulls his bandana tight.
"This isn’t Shadow Moses. This is Vancouver. And in this city, the mission is mercy."

He flicks away his cigarette and rides off with Tony and Avril, kick-pushing into the EastVan twilight, the city echoing with the clatter of wheels and hope.