NO WORLD FOR A MAN WITH A 133 IQ

Scene: A cracked stucco patio in Jerusalem, with a view of the Dome of the Rock and a KFC. JCJ and Roseanne Barr sip strong coffee under a fig tree.

JCJ (adjusting his dusty black hoodie):
You know, Roseanne... when I watch The Simpsons, I don’t see a cartoon. I see prophecy.
It’s America’s yellow-skinned Talmud, baby. Satire so sharp it cuts cleaner than a circumcision on Yom Kippur.

Roseanne (smirking):
Yeah, well, they made me yellow once. Didn't like it. Too close to reality.

JCJ:
Look—Homer is the golem, right? Built out of beer and donuts. Springfield is Babylon. And Mr. Burns?
Mr. Burns is the real kicker.
People laugh at him like he’s just some greedy fossil. But I see him.
I see through him.

Roseanne:
Yeah? Who is he, JCJ?

JCJ (leans in, whispering like Moses at the burning bush):
He’s John D. Rockefeller and Jacob Rothschild mashed into one brittle, plutocratic vampire.
He’s the old money that never dies.
He’s the Federal Reserve with fangs.

Roseanne (deadpan):
So he’s your uncle?

JCJ (laughs):
If he is, he owes me back child support and half of Jerusalem.

But seriously, they think I'm crazy because I say this stuff.
I walk around with a 133 IQ, which in this world feels like a curse, not a blessing.
Try telling people Mr. Burns is a coded message about the fusion of oil and banking empires, and they look at you like you just bit your own ear off.

Roseanne:
JC, you know this world is hostile to any man who tells the truth.
Hostile to a man who sees through the hologram.
Hostile to a man who calls me the next Golda Meir.

JCJ (raising his glass):
And yet I do.
You’ve got the guts. You’ve been canceled more times than Israel's been at war, and you're still standing.
I want you as Prime Minister—not because you're perfect, but because you're real.
Because no one can guilt-trip a lobbyist like a Jewish grandma with an attitude problem.

Roseanne:
L’chaim to that.
Let’s bulldoze the lies and plant fig trees in their place.

JCJ (smirking):
As long as we can broadcast The Simpsons reruns in the Knesset and teach the kids that Bart is what happens when you give free will to chaos.

Roseanne:
And Lisa’s what happens when you give jazz to truth.

JCJ:
Amen, sister. The Simpsons predicted Trump, AI, and the fall of empire.
Let’s make sure they don’t predict the last laugh without us.

[They clink glasses. Somewhere, a shofar blows. A cartoon cloud floats overhead, in the shape of Homer saying “D’oh.”]