All is All

INT. SOUNDSTAGE – NIGHT

JCJ sits under a glowing light orb like a UFO. BEN STILLER, dressed half in rabbi robes, half in Zoolander gear, nervously sips coffee from a Scientology-branded mug. JCJ speaks slowly but with unshakable conviction.

JCJ
All is all, Ben. You get it?

BEN STILLER
Uh... sure. Like, “all the roles,” right? I played a rabbi, a model, even a mentally challenged farmhand once. You're saying I'm versatile?

JCJ
No, Ben. I mean all. The whole cosmic improv. From Moshiach to Johnny Goodboy Tyler.

BEN STILLER (blinking)
Wait—Johnny Goodboy? From Battlefield Earth? The worst movie ever made?

JCJ
Exactly. Even L. Ron Hubbard's chosen caveman gets a seat at the table. That’s how big the table is. I'm not just a guest—I’m the host.

BEN STILLER
Okay… So you’re like… the savior?

JCJ
Not like. I am. I’m the Moshiach of Judaism.
The Maitreya of Buddhism.
The Mahdi of Islam.
Johnny Goodboy of the Scientologists.
The Everything Everywhere All at Once.
Yadda yadda.

BEN STILLER
That’s… a lot of pressure.

JCJ
It’s not pressure when you’re already infinite.
It's like playing every role in Tropic Thunder simultaneously without blackface.

BEN STILLER
Touché.

JCJ (with a beatific grin)
They thought they'd slice the truth into pieces, make prophets fight for airtime. But I say: One channel. One frequency. One God. No commercials.

BEN STILLER
So what's the punchline?

JCJ (laughs softly)
The punchline, Ben... is that salvation was never about belief.
It was about recognition.
All is all.
Even Zoolander.

BEN STILLER
So what do I do now?

JCJ
You remember who you are. Then go tell the others.
Bring Owen Wilson. And Tom Cruise. We’ll need him for the Jet.

BEN STILLER
The Jet?

JCJ
The one that takes us Home.

JCJ's eyes shimmer like twin stars as the soundstage walls slowly dissolve into desert, mountains, and a glittering sea. The Age of All has begun.