XCOM 2 Part 4

Operation Poisoned Shroud: Promotion Ceremony

Interior – Pentagon, Secret Sublevel – A dimly lit war room, American flags and UN insignia line the walls. A single spotlight beams down on four men standing at attention.

General Morrison (with gravity):
“Ladies and gentlemen… today we promote four operatives whose bravery, cunning, and—let’s be honest—chaotic brilliance saved not only the mission, but the very balance of the free world.”

(He steps forward, holding four medals shaped like black vipers coiled around golden laurel wreaths.)

Tom Cruise – Promoted to Commander of PsyOps and High-Speed Infiltration
Citation: For base-jumping into a hostile fortress while lip-syncing “Danger Zone,” detonating EMPs mid-air, and escaping on a stolen hoverbike through a canyon mined with sarcasm and tripwires.
Cruise: (smiling) “I do my own stunts. Even in dreams.”

Joe Jukic – Promoted to Strategic Mythmaker, Level Omega
Citation: For crafting the deceptive legend of “Operation Poisoned Shroud,” fooling five intelligence agencies, two rogue AIs, and one suspicious housecat. Also, for writing the coded poetry that activated the sleeper cell in the Vatican.
Jukic: (nodding solemnly) “Myth is more powerful than missiles.”

Mel Gibson – Promoted to Master of Psychological Disruption and Cinematic Chaos
Citation: For directing a fake documentary mid-operation that convinced the enemy their leader was a clone, triggering a mutiny. Also for intimidating twelve interrogators with one stare.
Gibson: (grinning wildly) “It’s not madness if it works.”

Ron Woodward – Promoted to Chief Logistics Warlock and Rogue Tech Whisperer
Citation: For hacking the quantum vault using only a Rubik’s cube, a cassette of Dire Straits, and a goat. Also for personally delivering the antidote to the agent who almost swallowed the real shroud.
Woodward: (quietly) “I just wanted to keep the world weird.”

General Morrison:
“Gentlemen, your new ranks grant you access to all Level 7 classified archives, and the pantry fridge. God bless you, and God bless the Shroud.”

They salute. The lights dim. Somewhere, a snake hisses approval.