YET ANOTHER TV AD THAT MAKES MY @SS HURT!

And Yet Another TV Ad that makes my ass hurt!
These guys are a hemorrhoid that doesn’t wanna go away!

#1. Let’s call this cellular provider, Customer Cellular. After all, their shit-laden and misleading TV ads really aren’t worth a lawsuit. These people spend a fortune on 3-minute infomercials that seem eternal. They just won’t go away! These have got to be among the longest-winded 3-minutes in history; with the exception of those insidious animal rescue and children’s hospital ads.

#2. As if 3-minutes of their mind-numbing bullsh!t’s not bad enough, they’re either delusional or they think we’re as stupid as they are. They actually expect us to swallow their bilge water.

#3. Their latest TV atrocity begins with a woman wearing one of those over-the-head phones people use in phone banks all over the world. She tells us how much she loves what she does … turning unsuspecting and gullible people into Customer Cellular subscribers.

#4. There’s a host of supposed customers [paid actors?] telling us how their bills went down drastically, sometimes cut in half or better, when they dumped their old carriers and went with Customer Cellular.

#5. Some of them tell us how their monthly $175 dollar bills went down to under $75. As I listen to them it appears to me that, if they are telling the truth, they’re idiots who haven’t shopped around. Maybe they’ve been using some of the more overly-priced carriers out there. THERE ARE MANY.

#4. DISCLAIMER: THE FOLLOWING IS NOT AN ADVERTISEMENT FOR T-MOBILE®. I AM NOT CONTRACTED WITH THEM IN ANY WAY OTHER THAN BEING A FULL-RATE-PAYING CUSTOMER WHO REALLY ENJOYS THEIR SERVICE.

#5. If you’ve looked around at all, it’s obvious that my carrier, T-Mobile®, probably doesn’t see the need for such lengthy, cringe-worthy, blanketly misleading ads like those Customer Cellular spends millions on. Maybe that’s why they cost more than T-Mobile®. And they do! These brain-damaging, mind-numbing infomercials are one more argument for dumping broadcast TV.

#6. My wife and I enjoy stable 5G connected internet with wifi and it costs $35 a month. It’s a price that won’t go up. We have unlimited data and it never “throttles down”. Our “wireless” modem is on loan from T-Mobile. There’s no rent or lease fee. We stuck it in a window, plugged it in, and voila! Add to this our two phone lines at $20 each with unlimited calling and text, including Canada …not that anyone really wants to talk to a Canadian.

#7. So how’s your math? I’ll help you here: 35 + 20 + 20 = 75 … tax included! Yes, we pay a total of $75 a month for everything. I’d like to see Customer Cellular do that!