A Boy and His iPad

Does your child become confrontational when device time is over?

This situation is complex, and a "one size fits all" approach doesn't work. Kids often confront screen time limits, leading to meltdowns. Engaging in activities like video games releases dopamine, which causes feelings of grouchiness when stopped. A former social media executive mentioned guilt over the "dopamine loop."

Media use can also be a way to avoid distress or boredom; when it ends, those feelings return. Escaping this loop is challenging for everyone, but adults have the skills to manage their emotions, while younger children are still learning to cope with frustration and disappointment.

Here are some practical strategies to help:
• STAY CALM & CONSISTENT: Kids may push boundaries, but staying firm and calm helps reinforce expectations. Avoid arguing or lecturing in the heat of the moment—wait until emotions settle.
• USE DEVICE SETTINGS TO HELP: Set up automatic screen time limits on devices so the transition feels less personal. Features like Apple’s Screen Time or Google’s Family Link can help enforce limits.
• GIVE WARNINGS BEFORE TIME ENDS: A 5-10 minute warning helps kids mentally prepare for the transition. Use phrases like: “Five more minutes, then it’s time to turn it off.”
• OFFER AN ENGAGING ALTERNATIVE: Suggest a fun activity after screen time (playing outside, reading, or a creative project). This helps shift focus away from the frustration of stopping.
• ACKNOWLEDGE THEIR FEELINGS: Kids may feel frustrated or disappointed. Let them express it within reason. Say something like: “I know stopping is hard, but we now have to ______.”
• REDIRECT PHYSICAL AGGRESSION: If a child becomes physically aggressive, stay calm but firm. Encourage deep breaths or a cool-down space to help the child regulate emotions.
• WORK MINDFULLY WITH TWEENS AND TEENS: Older kids may need more autonomy. Involve them in setting reasonable screen time rules. Discuss why limits are important for health, sleep, and focus.
• SEEK PROFESSIONAL COUNSELING AND SUPPORT: Some behaviors maybe outside your scope and professional assistance may be required.

Visit SafeKidsInternetPlayground.com and follow us. An additional recommended resource is https://www.healthychildren.org/English/family-life/Media/Pages/screen-time-and-temper-tantrums-helpful-tips-for-parents.aspx for more information.

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