The ingenuity of humans is almost as scary as their ads

r/humansarespaceorcs
DiazKincade

"I don't understand this. How have we not destroyed these primitive monkeys yet? Our forces have superior numbers and equipment yet they managed to stop us at every turn." The commander stands over the war table he has already flipped several times today. His second cowers in the corner holding a tablet, too nervous to approach.

Another comms chatter breaks the silence filled with more failures and excuses. The commander flips the table again as he storms over to a screen streaming various feeds from different areas of the war zone. Each a similar scene. His troops with their numbers and superior weapons being driven back by the humans using primitive solid munitions all with that same stupid helmet on.

"How are they doing this?!" He fumed, "We outnumber them 20 to 1. Our weapons can melt their flimsy metals. Yet we can't even faze them." His second sheepishly flips the table back over and then hesitantly says, "Sir. I think I might know why..." The commander turns and growls, "What is it?!"

The second places the tablet down on the table. "I think I found something that might shed light on this. I think it's from one of their propaganda hubs, but it's the only thing that makes any sense." The commander angrily grabs the tablet, then looks at it dumbfounded. "What even is this I am looking at?" It's a still frame of a video displaying what appears to be a human in a cheap 3 piece suit with wild hair and a manic look in his eyes. The commander presses the play button and is immediately assaulted by the humans over the top sales pitch.