Tiger in the market

Vendors scream quietly as a full-grown tiger enters their tiny market stall.
Tiger calmly says: “Relax, I’m vegan now.”
One vendor faints.
Tiger pulls out a calculator and tries to haggle over eggplants.
Says: “Last week it was ₹40/kg, today ₹60? That’s a 50% markup for brinjal ? Unacceptable!”
Vendor nervously gives him free okra just to get him to leave.
Tiger: “Oh, this is Joey. Adopted. Single parent now. Custody battle with a koala was brutal.”
Vendor: “Wait… you had a custody battle??”
Tiger: “Yes, and child support payments are killing me.”
Tiger picks up a zucchini and stares at it solemnly.
“This reminds me of when Joey took his first bite of bell pepper. So proud.”
Vendor awkwardly wipes a tear.
Tiger pays in cryptocurrency (because “banks don’t trust predators”).
Says: “Keep the change. Buy Joey a pacifier.”
Walks off humming Karma Chameleon while kangaroo giggles.