Matt Taylor, "Sexual Deviant."

Am I a Bad Man for Being a Sexual Deviant?

The term "sexual deviant" is often thrown around like a weapon—loaded with judgement, stigma, and an air of moral superiority. But what does it actually mean? And more importantly: does identifying with or being labelled as a sexual deviant make someone a bad person? I believe the answer is a resounding no—and here’s why.

Let’s start with the obvious: consent. The golden rule of adult intimacy. If every participant involved is a consenting adult, fully aware, enthusiastic, and empowered in their choices—then where, exactly, is the harm? There is none. What consenting adults do behind closed doors, whether it involves kink, roleplay, toys, fetishes, or any non-traditional expression of sexuality, is their private business. The law, ethics, and common decency all hinge on one central concept: mutual consent and the absence of harm.

Being sexually adventurous or non-conventional does not equate to being immoral, unethical, or dangerous. The phrase "sexual deviant" might sound dramatic, but it simply means straying from what society considers “normal” or “acceptable.” But society’s definitions of normal change all the time. Homosexuality was once considered deviant. So was interracial marriage. So were women wearing trousers. Should we measure our worth by outdated moral frameworks? Of course not.

There are those who may try to weaponize terms like "deviant" to imply criminality or perversion, as if all deviation from the norm is suspect. But I don’t involve children. I don’t involve animals. I don’t cause harm. I don't violate anyone’s rights. So what makes me a "bad man"?

Is it because I’m honest about my sexuality? Because I don’t conform? Because I don’t hide behind closed doors and pretend to be someone I’m not?

We need to move away from the outdated idea that sexuality defines morality. Someone can be a pillar of their community, a loyal friend, a good father, a loving partner—and also enjoy things in the bedroom that don’t fit the vanilla mould. That’s not deviance—it’s authenticity.

The world is full of people pretending to be righteous while hiding skeletons in their closet. I’d rather be real, open, and honest about who I am—warts, kinks, and all—than live a lie for the sake of approval from a society that often can't even decide what it stands for.

So, am I a bad man for being a sexual deviant?

No. I am a free man. I am an honest man. I am a consenting adult engaging in consensual adult fun. And if that makes me “deviant,” then so be it.

But don’t confuse deviant with bad.

Because there is nothing bad about truth, freedom, and pleasure—especially when it harms no one.

Let the prudes judge. I’ll be too busy living authentically.