Cartman’s Seven Deadly Schemes: The Most Evil Acts You’ll Never Forget

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Think you’ve seen evil? Meet Eric Cartman: South Park’s pint-sized tyrant whose schemes make TV villains look like amateurs. From sadistic mind games to pure psychopathy, here are the 7 most jaw-dropping, soul-chilling deeds that prove Cartman is the show’s darkest force.

1. Cartman’s masterpiece of malice comes in “Scott Tenorman Must Die.” He manipulates Scott into selling his pubes, then bakes him into chili. The cold-blooded cruelty and gleeful gloating make this the single most diabolical scheme in TV history. 2. In “Casa Bonita,” Cartman learns Kyle can’t go to his favorite restaurant. What does he do? He drugs Butters, strands him in Tijuana—and leaves him there so Kyle’s spot is free. It’s emotional hostage-taking disguised as birthday fun. 3. “Cartmanland” reveals pure greed. Cartman inherits a theme park, then violently refuses entry to any kid—even when a ride malfunctions and a girl dies. He celebrates her death because it keeps his lines short. That’s next-level heartlessness. 4. When South Park opens a gay conversion camp, Cartman’s behind the brainwashing. He beats boys, breaks spirits, and boasts about fixing them. Turning hate into an organized program? That’s institutionalized evil. 5. In “Crippled Summer,” Cartman befriends disabled campers only to sell them steroids and rig races. He values profit over their health, then blames their suffering on their disabilities. Exploiting the vulnerable for gain—absolutely monstrous. 6. “Le Petit Tourette” sees Cartman feign Tourette syndrome so he can say anything with impunity. He uses the mask of illness to harass classmates, hurl slurs, and wreck lives. Weaponizing disability is brutality in human form. 7. In “Go Fund Yourself,” Cartman tricks the town into funding a hostile takeover of the Washington Redskins trademark. He pours slander on minorities, spurs riots, and dances in the chaos. Inciting real-world hate for political theater? Despicable.

Cartman’s evil is relentless—but so is our fascination. Which act still haunts you years later?