When You Fight About Money, You’re Really Fighting About This

You think you're fighting about money.
The bills. The spending. The savings. The credit card you didn’t know about.

But you're not.
You're fighting about what money means—to each of you.

One of you grew up hearing “we can’t afford that” every day, while the other was taught “money is meant to be enjoyed.”
One of you feels safe with a padded emergency fund.
The other feels suffocated by the word “budget.”

So the conflict isn’t just over dollars and cents—it’s over identity, fear, values, and security.

Until you understand the story your spouse learned about money (and examine your own), you’ll keep talking in circles.
Not because you don’t care, but because you’re not speaking the same financial language.

You can rewrite your money story.
You can build a shared vision.
But you have to stop trying to win the argument—and start listening to the origin story behind it.

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