The Fellowship of the Ring, as Told by Cardi B

The Fellowship of the Ring, as Told by Cardi B

💍✨ RANGZ N’ THANGZ, BABY! ✨💍

Cardi B dives into Middle-Earth like you’ve NEVER seen before — we talkin’ hobbits, drama, side-eyes, and one cursed lil’ bling-bling that got e’erybody actin’ stoopid AF an’ LOSIN' they damn minds! 💅

In this wild, Fellowship of the Ring recap, Cardi drags Gandalf’s slow ass, calls out Frodo for being a soft-ass soyboy, ships Sam like a true stan, and dunks on the elves for being too pasty to party.

From Sauron’s creepy eyeball to Legolas serving high-key elf fashion, this ain’t your daddy’s fantasy saga — it’s LOTR with a WAP attitude and a badass Bronx beatdown!

🚫 She ain't walkin’ to Mordor — she UBERIN’.
🔥 She ain’t keepin’ the rang — she yeetin’ it.
🎯 And if Sauron’s watchin’? He gettin’ cancelled, *PERIODT*.

Hit that subscribe if you love chaotic energy, celebrity parody recaps, and fantasy roasts with extra glitter.

Let’s goooo!

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#YouShallNotTwerk #ElvesTooWhite #BigEyeEnergy
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