🔥 Squad’s on Fire, But That Chest Lookin THICC 🔥💀📦

🚨 Teammate: “I’M HIT!”
🧍‍♂️ Me: “Okay but like… is that a purple chest? 👀”
🔥💥 entire warzone implodes behind me
📦 Me opening the box like: “pls be kneepads, pls be kneepads…”

I am the Goblin King.
The team is perma-dead.
But at least I got another tactical fanny pack. 😎
Priorities? MAXED.
Awareness? ZERO.
Regrets? Only that I didn’t get a gold chest.

💀💥🧃 Join me as I professionally ignore explosions for shinier loot.