E05: Out-performing Ourselves: A Friendly Little Chat About Crushing the Competition.

Is competition really driving us forward—or quietly pulling us apart? In this episode of The Loneliness Industry, we dig deep into how comparison culture, capitalist values, and performative selfhood are making us lonelier than ever. From office sports metaphors to narcissistic self-help mantras, we unpack the hidden psychological and philosophical costs of a society obsessed with winning.

Expect critical insights from thinkers like Sartre, Foucault, Alfred Adler, Gabor Maté, and more—as well as personal stories, cultural critique, and a few dark laughs. If you’ve ever felt like you’re not measuring up, like your worth depends on your performance, or like everyone around you is secretly judging your life like a talent show… this one’s for you.

🌀 Topics include:

The loneliness of always measuring up

The psychology of comparison and narcissism

How capitalism turns performance into identity

The myth of healthy competition

What philosophy says about the gaze, the self, and belonging

Real ways to reconnect in a world obsessed with ranking

Authors, Philosophers and Psychologists Referenced:

Alfred Adler – Psychologist; known for theories on inferiority/superiority complexes.

Sigmund Freud – Psychoanalyst; referenced with humor re: dream interpretation.

Leon Festinger – Psychologist; developed Social Comparison Theory.

Christopher Lasch – Cultural critic; The Culture of Narcissism (1979).

Carol Dweck – Psychologist; Fixed vs Growth Mindsets.

Herbert Marcuse – Philosopher; One-Dimensional Man (1964).

Byung-Chul Han – Philosopher; The Burnout Society.

Slavoj Žižek – Philosopher; Ideology and “enjoyment.”

Peter Kropotkin – Anarchist and philosopher; emphasized cooperation over competition.

Charles Darwin – Naturalist; referenced for Descent of Man and misreadings of his work.

Herbert Spencer – Social theorist; coined “survival of the fittest.”

Stephen Jay Gould – Paleontologist and evolutionary theorist; critiqued Social Darwinism.

Daniel Dennett – Philosopher of mind; mentioned re: evolution and cooperation.

Jean-Paul Sartre – Philosopher; The Gaze, Being and Nothingness.

Michel Foucault – Philosopher; Panopticon, internalized surveillance, disciplinary society.

Judith Butler – Philosopher and gender theorist; performativity.

Carl Jung – Psychologist; on alienation and the “true self.”

Erich Fromm – Psychoanalyst and philosopher; on alienation under capitalism.

Gabor Maté – Physician and author; on trauma, loneliness, and connection.

Martha Nussbaum – Philosopher; Capabilities Approach and human flourishing.

Alain de Botton – Philosopher and writer; commentary on modern success narratives.

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