The Bread Radio Blues

🎶 BREAD BLUES
(For Bread Radio – Blocked By Bob Edition)

[Verse 1]
Butter on my fingers, crumbs upon my lips
Carb overload, got them dough rolls on my hips
Keep the fridge light glowin’ in the middle of the night
One more bite just feels so right
I got them crusty sourdough,
Golden-baked, butter-slathered bread blues

[Verse 2]
I stash 'em in the pantry, I hide 'em in a tin
A baguette in my backpack, rye in the recycling bin
Under couch cushions, beside my shampoo
I got a ciabatta sneakin’ in my left shoe
Yeah, them crusty sourdough,
Golden-baked, butter-slathered bread blues

[Verse 3]
Doc says I’m reckless, says I gotta quit
“Your cholesterol’s climbing, boy, you’re deep in the pit”
But I toast before I talk, I rise before I run
And my loaf addiction’s just begun
These are crusty sourdough,
Golden-baked, butter-slathered, warm and ooze
With them toasted, yeasted, glutinous bread blues

[Verse 4 – “Rising Action”]
I joined B.R.E.A.D.—that’s Brotherhood for birds
Ethical avian defence, in other words
But they caught me mid-bite, butter on my beak
At the birdwatching picnic just last week
Can’t stop the crust, can’t dodge the chews
Living with my buttery, flaky, floured bread blues

[Bridge – slow it down, low growl]
I dream of focaccia, I cry for brioche
Even cornbread calls me like a long-lost love note
My sourdough starter? Her name is Sue
She’s the only thing that ever rose up true

[Verse 5 – Final chorus build]
So bake me a biscuit, toast me a bun
Douse it in jam 'til the morning sun
I'll never be skinny, I'll never be sane
But I’ll never go hungry ridin’ this grain train
With them crusty sourdough,
Golden-baked, butter-slathered, toasted by the firelight
Ain’t no faker, this bread’s my muse
These… oozy, boozy, chewy, bluesy
Golden crusty bread blues