Just As the Founding Fathers Intended ~ Song (a.k.a.) I own a musket for home defense.

Song: Just As the Founding Fathers Intended
Lyrics: Unknown
Music: AI

Link: https://www.reddit.com/r/copypasta/comments/8agaik/just_as_the_founding_fathers_intended/

[Verse1]
I own a musket for home defense,
Since that's what the founding fathers intended.
Four ruffians break into my house. [spoken] "What the devil?"
As I grab my powdered wig and Kentucky rifle.
Just as the founding fathers intended.
[verse2]
Blow a golf ball sized hole through the first man.
He's dead on the spot. Draw my pistol on the second man.
Misses him entirely because it's smoothbore,
and nails the neighbor's dog.
Just as the founding fathers intended.
[verse3]
I have to resort to the cannon at the top of the stairs loaded with grapeshot.
The grapeshot shreds two men in the blast. [spoken] "Tally ho, lads."
The sound and extra shrapnel set off car alarms.
Fix bayonet and charge the last terrified rapscallion.
Just as the founding fathers intended.
[verse4]
He bleeds out waiting on the police to arrive,
Since triangular bayonet wounds are difficult to stitch-up.
I own a musket for home defense,
Since that's what the founding fathers intended.
Just as the founding fathers intended.
Just as the founding fathers intended.