I Lost It All To Cream And Trolls

"I Lost It All to Cream and Trolls" is a country ballad soaked in self-pity, heavy cream, and the digital tears of a man who mistook bigotry for branding. Written by Giuseppe — a disgraced, middle-aged livestreamer whose mic is fried and whose dogs have turned feral — this sad, funny, and unsettlingly sticky track tells the tale of one man’s fall from irrelevant to infamous.

In true country fashion, Giuseppe recounts the ruins of his life: his wife Tonya gone (lured away by a troll with memes and working Wi-Fi), his huskies now openly hostile, and his podcast exiled from every platform this side of Facebook. But unlike traditional heartbreak ballads, Giuseppe’s enemy isn’t heartbreak — it’s Chudwick, a digital gremlin who remixed his hate-filled rants into K-pop edits and sold deepfakes of him as a dessert cow.

What follows is a slow, steel-guitar-soaked spiral into self-parody. Giuseppe weeps into his fat rolls, whispers broken affirmations to himself (“That’s a great point”), and rocks alone in the glow of a busted ring light, the only thing still willing to shine on him.

Equal parts Hee-Haw and Black Mirror, this song is a twisted elegy for men who mistake volume for value — a country funeral dirge for clout-chasing bigots who couldn’t outrun the internet, their metabolism, or their own dogs.