We Brought 600 Horsepower to America's Oldest City… What Could Go Wrong?

**DISCLAIMER: 97% of this story is questionable, 2% is legally inadmissible, and 1% might be a hallucination. Basically, it's all a lie. Viewer discretion is mandatory.**

Welcome to the most irresponsible, historically-inaccurate, saltwater-soaked fever dream you've ever seen: Chris and Michael on Kawasaki Ultra 310 jet skis, terrorizing the otherwise peaceful waters of St. Augustine, Florida — a town that did absolutely nothing to deserve this.

Fueled by bad decisions and 310 screaming horsepower each (that’s 620 reasons we shouldn’t be allowed near bodies of water), we shot out of the marina like caffeinated torpedoes — immediately catching the attention of:
- Retired fishermen who tried to lasso us (unclear if it was for fun or citizen’s arrest),
- Tourists on ghost tours who probably thought we were 18th-century poltergeists riding mechanical sea monsters,
- And one extremely confused dolphin who might now be in therapy.

Along our completely unauthorized historic tour, we saw:
- Fishing boats whose captains were either cursing us out or blessing us for stirring up the fish — we couldn’t hear them over the sound of pure four-stroke glory.
- The legendary Castillo de San Marcos Fort, which we loudly declared we were storming (with zero weapons and way too much horsepower).
- A sunken boat, or as Chris called it, "an opportunity for immediate and reckless salvage operations." (We considered strapping it to a jet ski and claiming it under maritime law, but we have *some* sense left. Barely.)

Michael spent half the ride yelling "FULL SEND" and the other half Googling “Can jet skis jump shrimp boats” while still moving at 60 mph.
Chris discovered you can actually hydroplane a jet ski across a wake, physics be ignored, and briefly achieved flight. We’re talking at least 4 feet of air. (Fine, maybe 2 feet. Whatever. It felt heroic.)

Important cultural notes:
- We respectfully waved at the Fort. Then Chris tried to do a “jet ski doughnut salute,” which ended with him almost launching himself into Spanish colonial history.
- We respected local wildlife... by yelling “HEY BUDDY” at every manatee we thought we saw. (Turns out half were just fat logs.)

Did we obey maritime law? Pfft.
Did we create our own maritime law? You're stinking right.
Were there witnesses? Regrettably, yes.

This video has everything:
- Near collisions with slow-moving fishing boats ✅
- Unsolicited pirate impressions ✅
- At least three moments where Michael shouts "This was a terrible idea!" right before smiling bigger than ever ✅
- Again, all lies.

**LIKE** this video if you enjoy loud engines and louder personalities.
**SUBSCRIBE** if you think two men on jet skis should become the next major historical reenactment movement.
**COMMENT** if you think Chris and Michael should be legally banned from all waterways. (We’ll frame the comment.)

**Massive thanks** to St. Augustine for being absolutely gorgeous while we acted like sea goblins on cat nip. We love you. We’re sorry. (Kinda.)

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More Great Videos!

How modified can you make your Kawasaki Ultra 310 and keep it reliable? With @JDsWaterWorld
https://youtu.be/RgfxQRDVCQU

Riding the 10,000 Islands on the 2022 Kawasaki Ultra 310LX with Dolphins Playing With Us
https://youtu.be/oZBNVHp9TUM

The Camel Literally Tried To Get In Our Car!
https://youtu.be/7mqmEM8D_Ec

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