Put the Fries in the Bag - The Alyssa Mercante Song

Another day, another lolcow anthem 🐄

This time the spotlight’s on Alyssa Mercante - ex-Kotaku editor, professional victim, and now the star of my musical roast that nobody asked for (but I had way too much free time to make).

To be fair, she kinda had this coming after her recent article in GameSpot complaining about competitive games (roasted her on that here: https://www.reportafk.com/the-cope-olympics-why-gaming-journos-cant-admit-theyre-mid/)

Following up my songs about Hasan and Ludwig (linked below), I figured it was only fair Alyssa got her own theme music too. Edgy, satirical, and about as subtle as a drive-thru speaker at 2AM, this was pretty fun to make ngl.

Chorus TL;DR: Put the fries in the bag 🍟
Moral of the story: Don’t start drama if you can’t handle the receipts.

If you want to find out more lore behind this song, check it out on my website: https://www.reportafk.com/put-the-fries-in-the-bag-the-alyssa-mercante-song/

If you like this kind of dumb unhinged chaos, let me know by liking the video and subscribing to my little itty bitty channel - otherwise, I’ll probably just keep videos until I get sued...pun intended?

Other videos:
Let's Up Those Numbers | Ode to Jellywig: https://youtu.be/SN1UCsXK1Go
Communist with a Gucci Bag | Hasan Piker: https://youtu.be/cA1R53s9wCI