This Will Never be Performed

This Will Never Be Performed

I’m proud to present "This Will Never Be Performed", my first instrumental album, written entirely on sheet music in MuseScore 3 during my freshman and sophomore years of college while studying classical guitar.

The title reflects my frustration as a modern orchestral composer, creating detailed works that may never be played by contemporary ensembles due to the challenges of being a living composer.

This album’s twelve tracks capture moments from my life—dreams, relationships, personal struggles, and thoughts on the world—through varied instrumentation like piano, synthesizers, classical guitar trio, percussion ensemble, and large orchestral forces, using styles such as minimalism, Baroque, semi-atonal, and fugal.

It represents my shift from a rock/pop improvisational background to a classical composer, a bold act of creation even if it stays unheard. I hope these tracks speak to anyone who feels their story deserves a voice.

Track-by-Track Breakdown:

A Reoccurring Dream of the Big House (Minimalist Synthesizer) (0:00)
This track is about my recurring dreams of exploring a huge mansion, always starting in the same place but moving to a new, undiscovered part each time. I wrote it as a minimalist synthesizer piece, using repetition to reflect the dream’s mix of familiarity and exploration.

A Night in London (Minimalist Piano Duet) (2:34)
This minimalist piano duet, written for two pianos, is about a sexual encounter. I used interlocking, repetitive patterns to create a dialogue between the players, with subtle rhythmic variations to convey an intimate mood.

Cat and Moose (Synthesizer) (5:06)
This synthesizer piece is about the struggle of pursuing someone who’s not right for me. I composed it to capture the effort and frustration of that chase.

Dance for Rain (Classical Guitar Trio, Three Movements) (7:27)
This classical guitar trio in three movements—1. Dance for Rain, 2. I Don’t Mean to Interrupt, 3. Thunderstorm—is about a jealous man dancing to bring rain to ruin someone’s wedding, only to find out rain is good luck on a wedding day. As the rain pours and thunders loudly, he has an inner realization symbolized by the large, raucous thunderstorm. I used my classical guitar background to shape this narrative-driven piece.

Baroque Dance with Etitude (Piano) (16:08)
This piano piece, written for intermediate beginners, represents a pivotal time in my life when I needed a way to both express myself and deepen my understanding of music composition, leading me to create my own concept called “Etitudes.” Etudes are traditional musical studies designed to develop technical skills, but my Etitudes reimagine them as a vehicle for personal expression alongside technical practice. During this period, I was transitioning from a rock/pop improvisational background to the structured world of classical music, and I needed a form that allowed me to channel my emotions and identity while honing my craft as a composer. For this piece, I drew on Baroque dance forms to structure it, blending the technical discipline of etudes with my own voice to reflect my growth as a composer and my attitude during this transformative period.

Sitting Trying to Listen Where the Cars Go (Minimalist Orchestral) (18:01)
This minimalist orchestral piece is about my stepdad’s experience with short-term memory loss after numerous strokes, struggling to form a full thought. Written for a large orchestra, I composed a melody that repeats in different ways—forwards, backwards, quietly, loudly, and in various keys—to reflect his fragmented efforts.

Wax On, Wax Off (Piano) (21:00)
This piano piece is about my journey from a rock/pop improvisational background to learning classical sheet music, which felt like a huge accomplishment. I structured it to reflect the repetitive work and eventual triumph of mastering this new skill.

Dance of the Drunk College Girls (Piano) (22:54)
This piano piece is about three drunk college girls dancing in the street, getting honked at on their way home from a night out. I used triplets to create a melody that feels constantly spinning, capturing their dizzy, chaotic energy.

On the Back of a Bull (Minimalist Percussion Ensemble: Marimbas, Xylophone, Vibraphone) (24:34)
This minimalist percussion ensemble piece, written for marimbas, xylophone, and vibraphone, is about struggling through life’s unpredictable challenges, like riding a bull. I used shifting rhythms to represent life’s ups and downs and a consistent melody to show resilience.

Glued to a Zombie Videogame (Piano Fugue) (26:45)
This piano fugue is about the intense focus of playing zombie video games. I structured it as a fugue to capture the chaotic, immersive pursuit of gameplay, reflecting the feeling of being glued to the screen.

Korean Nuclear Explosion (Semi-Atonal, Large Ensemble: Strings and Marimba) (28:28)
This semi-atonal piece for a large ensemble, including strings and marimba, is about the catastrophic idea of a nuclear explosion caused by mishandling weapons. I structured it to convey escalating tension and destruction through a fragmented narrative.

A Strange Time to Be Alive (Synthesizer, Semi-Atonal Soundscape) (30:20)
This synthesizer-based, semi-atonal piece is about living in strange times, styled like a sci-fi film score. I created a soundscape structure with minimal melody to capture the surreal feeling of the modern world.

This Will Never Be Performed is my life in music—my dreams, struggles, relationships, and thoughts on a chaotic world. From my improvisational rock/pop roots to my growth as a classical composer, it captures my journey through varied sounds and styles. It’s my defiance against the odds, creating art even if it never finds a stage. I hope these tracks resonate with you, whether through the stories, the creativity, or the shared struggle of being heard. Thank you for listening to my work.

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