Offense for Conflict ~ Part 1

Offense for Conflict ~ Part 1

By Pastor Gary Wayne

In our text, Jesus taught things different from what people had ever heard – “go the second mile, love your enemies, turn the other cheek.”
These teachings were not contrary to the law, but they were contrary to the people’s understanding of the law. Contrary to my FLESH nature.
They have to do with my heart aligning with the heart of Jesus.

In the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus gives an offense to help me battle conflict.
I believe one of the greatest threats to unity is conflict we face with each other, and the wrong ways we tend to deal with the problem.

Text: Matthew 5:1-10, 21-22 – 23-26
Many scholars believe the phrase "without a cause" was added later to the original text. I take this to justify my anger, because I have a cause!
Jesus's message is that all anger, even if not sinful in action, becomes a sin when it stems from unrighteous motives or leads to name-calling and contempt for others.
The core sin is not the emotion of anger, but the heart of contempt and judgment that it breads it if I don’t deal with it.

Jesus knew the consequence of an angry and hurt spirit are so terrible, that He insists we lose no time seeking reconciliation with people.
So much so, that even before we come before God in worship, we must do our part to resolve the problem.

Note the wording in ver.23, “…that your brother has something against you.”
Not just if you have wronged your brother, but also if he has something against you.
(This is so contrary to my flesh!)
I believe Jesus was giving us the first step of “offense for conflict.”
Has anyone here ever been offended? Have you ever offended someone else?
Has anyone here ever been offended by another Christian?
It hurts doesn’t it? Both to be offended and to offend.

Do you know the #1 reason why people drop out of Church?
They experience conflict – Even in Church!
Because where there are people, there will be conflict.
And if that conflict isn’t resolved, they become disenchanted, - then alienated, and finally apathetic – I just don’t care any more, or even hostile.

A man named John Savage - a church analyst - traced what happens that leads people to drop out. He found:
1. You have an anxiety provoking event.
2. These events normally lead to anger. So and so did such and such and I’m angry.
3. This leads to verbal messages – I’m mad at you – you idiot.
4. Then changes in behavior – I break relationship – often stop coming to church as much.

5. We then reach a critical place – the drop out line, where we stop coming all together.
I’ve decided, because of what happened, and I’ve dropped verbal hints, and you never apologized – at least not like I wanted, my behavior changed, and you still didn’t notice so finally I Quit!

Usually when people reach this place, they will give the church 6-8 weeks to come and get them back.
Then the church people don’t respond because we are so busy, we don’t even realize they are gone.
Do you remember so and so, I wonder why they stopped coming?

John Savage found ½ of these people that reach this place never go back to church again.

When we experience conflict, we have 3 options.
A. We can terminate the relationship.
Sadly many people do this when they don’t know how to resolve conflict.
We need to realize this isn’t a Godly option.
If I end this relationship / church, I will usually go on to terminate again and again.
If I start going to another church, until I deal with what’s going on inside, I just go around the mountain again.

We need to learn to deal with conflict – it’s normal!

B. We can also try to return as if nothing happened.
This doesn’t work very well. It will never be the same because of what’s going on in my heart.

C. We can follow our text, – resolve the problem with the person.
We are different people – learn to love each other for who they are.
Allow the other person to be different.
Don’t just “Take Your Ball and Go Home!”

Sadly, most just terminate relationship without ever trying to resolve the conflict.
Most of us let it linger, let it linger, drop back, wait for them to come to me.
The Bible says for us to go and make it right.

Until I make it right, my relationship with the Father suffers as well.