Streaming Royalty Scam: Musicians Paid in Peanuts

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Here’s the straight-up verdict: streaming royalty-splitting is about as fair to musicians as serving caviar on a paper plate. Yes, you read that right, those triumphant “artists-first” platforms proudly boast that they pay musicians fractions of a cent per stream, which is an inspiringly innovative way to starve creativity into extinction. If by “fair” you mean “a system where indie artists work three years to earn enough to buy a pizza,” then sure, it’s fair. Let’s marvel at the ingenious math: one hundred streams equal roughly one dollar, which buys you approximately zero months of rent. Meanwhile, the streaming giant rakes in millions, because apparently negotiating multi-billion-dollar deals is tougher than composing a symphony. And let’s not forget the record labels, who swoop in like benevolent vultures, clawing back their cut before the musician even sees a cent. It’s like sharing a birthday cake, except you bring the cake, bake it, decorate it, sing “Happy Birthday,” and still they claim three-quarters of the slices. Sure, superstar acts occasionally score massive checks when their song goes viral in a TikTok video of someone’s cat doing the robot. That’s because fairness was clearly established by the laws of randomness and global corporate oversight.
In short, the whole setup is gloriously balanced, if your definition of balance is “two-toned platform profit vs. crumbs for creators.” Until fans demand direct payment channels or lawmakers step in, musicians will keep hustling for pocket change while platforms swim in platinum records.