Premium Only Content
You Must Not Like Matt Taylor.
FOR ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY!
Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, citizens of Brighton and beyond — heed this urgent proclamation: you must not, under any circumstances, like Matt Taylor.
Why? Because AJ Lashbrook has said so. And if AJ Lashbrook has said so, then surely it must be true.
The Danger of Looking at Matt Taylor.
Do not look at him. Do not talk to him. Do not even whisper his name, for fear that your very breath will carry his syllables into the air and corrupt the ozone.
He is a bad bad man. Very bad. Double-bad. Possibly triple-bad,
The Horrible Things (Because People Said So)
Now, let us be clear: we need no evidence, no context, no messy thing called nuance. All we need is the echo of accusation, repeated often enough until it becomes a chorus.
Matt Taylor has been accused of horrible things. Horrible! And though “accused” is not the same as “proven,” why get bogged down in such details? Far better to sharpen the pitchforks now and worry about the paperwork later.
Don’t Support Him — Ever!
Do not subscribe to his YouTube channel. Do not watch his videos. Do not laugh at his jokes. Do not engage with his content in any way, shape, or form.
For to do so would be to dance with the devil himself (or at least with someone loudly labelled as such).
Lock Him Up Forever.
Yes, the only proper response is to insist that Matt Taylor be locked away. For how long? A very, very, very long time. (Preferably for 14 years) Longer than long. Longer than a British queue on a rainy Bank Holiday Monday.
For only then will society be safe from the terrifying threat of one man making videos, writing blogs, and daring to tell stories that some people wish he wouldn’t.
So remember this public service announcement:
Matt Taylor is a bad bad man.
He must not be supported.
He must not be spoken of kindly.
He must be condemned on principle, because AJ Lashbrook said so.
And above all — do not like Matt Taylor.
Because satire aside, isn’t it easier to follow the mob than to think for yourself?
🚨 PUBLIC WARNING 🚨
DO NOT LIKE MATT TAYLOR
This is an official notice to all citizens. Engagement with Matt Taylor is strictly forbidden.
WHY?
Because people have said terrible things about him. That’s all the evidence you need.
YOUR INSTRUCTIONS:
❌ Do NOT look at Matt Taylor.
❌ Do NOT talk to Matt Taylor.
❌ Do NOT subscribe to Matt Taylor.
❌ Do NOT watch his videos.
❌ Do NOT laugh at his jokes.
❌ Do NOT think for yourself.
OFFICIAL VERDICT:
Matt Taylor is a bad bad man. He deserves to be locked up for a very very very long time. (How long? Forever sounds good enough.)
REMEMBER CITIZENS:
Thinking for yourself is dangerous. Repeating what others say is safe.
So:
👉 Don’t support him.
👉 Don’t defend him.
👉 Don’t even whisper his name.
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