🧾🩻 FΛUX$HURΔИCΞ™ // YØU ΔЯΞ THΞ DΞDUCT!BLΞ ☎️

📞🎵 NOW STREAMING🧾📉

Need emotional support coverage for a haunted vape injury?
Lost your car in the metaverse?
Got denied life insurance because your death wasn't “viewer-friendly?”

Call one-eight-hundred-WE-DENY and sign up today for FΛUX$HURΔИCΞ™ — the only policy that covers your JPEGs, your blood type, and your emotional bandwidth.

Featuring:
🛑 Ridiculous injuries
📂 Denied death claims
🧠 NFT trauma coverage
📞 Call center horrorcore
💀 And zero actual support

“Because you might need insurance…
…on your Fauxsurance.”