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John and Julie Gottman, two of the most respected marriage researchers in the world, identify four destructive patterns in relationships they call The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse: criticism, defensiveness, stonewalling, and contempt.

And out of the four, contempt is the deadliest.

Why? Because contempt isn’t just disagreement. It’s not even just criticism. Contempt is laced with sarcasm, mockery, eye-rolling, and ridicule. It communicates one thing loud and clear: “I’m better than you. I don’t respect you.”

The Gottmans’ decades of research show that contempt is the number one predictor of divorce. Why? Because it erodes trust, destroys emotional safety, and slowly suffocates connection.

If you’ve noticed contempt creeping into your marriage—whether it’s your words, your tone, or your body language—don’t ignore it. This isn’t about blame. It’s about recognizing the urgency to change course.

That’s why I created Marriage in Bloom, a six-month marriage intensive that helps couples identify destructive patterns, replace them with life-giving habits, and rebuild trust and connection.

👉 Learn more here: https://debbiecaudle.com/therapy-for-christian-couples/

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