The Wire - September 30, 2025

//The Wire//2300Z September 30, 2025//
//ROUTINE//
//BLUF: PENTAGON LAUNCHES COLOSSAL INITIATIVE TO COMBAT FAT GENERALS. PUTIN CALLS UP 135K CONSCRIPTS FOR WINTER FIGHTING SEASON.//

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-International Events-

Russia: Yesterday President Putin issued the semi-regular call up for military conscription for this winter, which has topped 135,000 troops this season. This is the largest callup in recent memory, with most sources claiming that it's the largest draft since 2016.

-HomeFront-

Washington D.C. - Yesterday morning a parked US Secret Service vehicle caught fire at the corner of 18th Street and Pennsylvania Avenue Northwest. The cause of the fire was stated to be an electrical problem, and no one was injured during the incident.

In Congress, a government shutdown looms as lawmakers remain in a budgetary deadlock. The White House stated that a government shutdown is likely, and all parties do not seem to be interested in the last-minute deals that normally take place during shutdowns.

Analyst Comment: Of note, headlines this morning have circulated regarding "100,000 federal employees resigning en masse", usually with fantastical subheadings to imply that these 100k employees walked off the job this morning. This is not true. These "resignations" are actually the result of the DOGE initiative called the Deferred Resignation Program (DRP) from a few months ago. This program offered government employees a buyout of their employment so as to downsize many agencies by removing positions altogether. Around 100,000 government employees took this buyout, and thus the misleading headlines referencing 100,000 resignations this morning. Nearly all of these positions were already defunct weeks ago, this is merely a formalization of downsizing efforts by officially removing these positions from the payrolls of various agencies.

Virginia - This morning the much-anticipated consortium of Flag Officers began at Marine Corps Base Quantico with a different kind of downsizing. SECWAR Pete Hegseth had originally called the secretive meeting a couple of weeks ago, summoning hundreds of general officers to discuss unknown topics. A few days ago it was announced that President Trump himself would also be attending the meeting.

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Analyst Comments: Due to the initially secret purpose of this meeting, speculation abounded regarding why this many general officers would be called to an in person meeting without the topic of discussion being conveyed ahead of time. This led most to speculate that the topic of discussion would be the rampant insubordination from within the gargantuan Flag Officer corps, which has been a mammoth problem since President Trump took office. As the enormous meeting of generals got underway this morning, the true topic of the day was revealed to be more corpulent in nature: no more fat generals. All service members regardless of rank or girth will now be required to pass a PT test twice per year...no more waivers (allegedly). Other sizable details mentioned during the hefty address are the return to a more lean and warrior-focused military culture devoid of transgender ideology, climate change considerations, or other recent additions to the Pentagon's means of operating.

All in all, while the massive firings that were hoped for did not take place, calling generals fat to their faces and livestreaming it to the internet is a worthy consolation that will certainly improve morale among junior service members. Granted, getting 4-Star Generals to actually take a PT test (instead of having their staff pencil whip the paperwork as usual), is a colossal undertaking that if achieved, will be no small feat.

Analyst: S2A1
Research: https://publish.obsidian.md/s2underground
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