𝐒𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐈𝐅𝐅 𝐆𝐑𝐀𝐃𝐘 𝐉𝐔𝐒𝐓 𝐃𝐑𝐎𝐏𝐏𝐄𝐃 𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑 𝐂𝐋𝐀𝐒𝐒𝐈𝐂 — 𝐅𝐋𝐎𝐑𝐈𝐃𝐀 𝐌𝐀𝐍 𝐄𝐃𝐈𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍 ⁠⁣⁠⁣⁠⁣⁠‌

Only in Florida. Sheriff Grady Judd tells the story straight:

You order up a “prostitute.” This “prostitute” lives with his mom. This “prostitute” has a 𝟐𝟏-𝐲𝐞𝐚𝐫 𝐜𝐫𝐢𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐚𝐥 𝐡𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐲 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝟑𝟏 𝐜𝐫𝐢𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐚𝐥 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐠𝐞𝐬.

Sheriff Grady:
𝘠𝘰𝘶 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘬 𝘺𝘰𝘶’𝘳𝘦 𝘣𝘶𝘺𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴… 𝘺𝘰𝘶’𝘳𝘦 𝘨𝘦𝘵𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴. 𝘏𝘦’𝘴 𝘨𝘰𝘵 31 𝘤𝘳𝘪𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘢𝘭 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘳𝘨𝘦𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘩𝘦𝘤𝘬, 𝘪𝘧 𝘺𝘰𝘶’𝘳𝘦 𝘭𝘶𝘤𝘬𝘺, 𝘩𝘦 𝘥𝘰𝘦𝘴𝘯’𝘵 𝘬𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘯𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵.

He calls it “Coyote Ugly” — that moment you wake up, look at what’s next to you, and wish you could chew your arm off just to sneak away without waking him up.
⁠⁣⁠⁣⁠⁣⁠‌‌ ⁠⁣⁣
Only Sheriff Grady can deliver a crime briefing like a stand-up routine. Florida stays undefeated.

Ht @michaelarothman

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