Moose vs. Meth Heads: A Poutine of Self-Defense.

Moose vs. Meth Heads: A Poutine of Self-Defense.

To every real Canadian-listen up. For twenty years I ran Phantom Renovation Restoration Ltd. Lost money every year, and I paid for it with profits from a second business I never talk about. Why? Because hiring ex-cons who kicked the shit out of pedophiles, rapists, wife-beaters is not charity-it's justice. I gave 'em purpose, pride, paychecks. Then mandates showed me money ain't freedom. They just want leverage. So I sold it all-no house, no wife, no kids, no nothing. Forty-two, no record, in court every year since two thousand one, always defending myself, never hit first, never lost. Self-defense is Canadian as poutine. Now hunting season. You take the moose. I take the meth-heads. LRT loop, backpack full of spaghetti-beef, onions, fork, napkins. Give it to quiet homeless, vets, ex-cons who earned it. Crackheads get thirty minutes: Maybe daddy never spanked you. I will. Be gone when I'm back or learn values the hard way. Rec centers? Same deal. New immigrants turning saunas into spit buckets and pools into toilets-thirty minutes. North side will never be clean, but I'm just doing my part. Enjoy your moose, boys. I'm already hunting.