💥📖 SUNDAY SPICE: Fellowship of the Ring (A PARODY) Part 5💥

Phallamir’s White Rod finishes what it started. The Thongs retreat squealing, the Fellowship re-tightens its belt, and the banner over Bro-han starts flapping like it owes rent. 🌪️🗡️

Frank N. Beans keeps the cheeks clamped, Yamaha measures strangers for the honor of being called “cock washer,” and Gary the Gay pockets one last vial of antique lube with a wink. Black Beans mutters about maps, Bronson tries to count to potato, and the riders on the horizon look extremely stiff in every possible sense. 🐎🔥

End of Chapter 5 wrap: sundered, not destroyed; bruised, not broken; extremely moisturized. Next stop: the plains where courage gets tested and saddle sores earn names. 🍑⚔️

Stay tuned, degenerates of Middle-Girth. The White Rod just set the tone. Now we ride.