Mushy pea's PLEASE!

(Verse 1)
I went down to the chippy, hungry as could be,
Said “Give us some fish and chips, and make it nice for me!”
He said, “Would you like some peas, lad?” I said, “Aye, if you please!”
Then he winked and asked real serious, “Regular or mushy peas?”

(Chorus)
Oh, peas, peas, mushy peas!
The green delight that makes you wheeze!
They slide, they roll, they splat with ease,
Oh I love me peas — and mushy peas!

(Verse 2)
Now garden peas are posh ones, they sit there all refined,
Like little emerald snobs, with manners well-defined.
But mushy peas don’t care, mate — they’ve had a few too many beers,
They’re smashed and mashed and glorious, and running down your ears!

(Chorus)
Oh, peas, peas, mushy peas!
They’re sloppy, lumpy, taste of cheese (sometimes!)
They squish and splat between your knees,
Oh I love me peas — and mushy peas!

(Bridge)
You can keep your avocado toast,
Your sushi and your brie…
Give me chip-shop vinegar
And peas that look like sea!

(Verse 3)
Now my girlfriend left me last week, she said, “You’re such a bore!”
She took the dog, the telly, and my last tin from the drawer.
But she left a note upon the fridge — it said, “Don’t be in a state,
I’ve left you mushy peas, love — they’re past their sell-by date!”

(Final Chorus)
Oh, peas, peas, mushy peas!
They’re comfort food for lads like me,
They fill the heart and clog the knees —
Oh I love me peas…
Yes, I love me peas…
Oh, I love me mushy peeeas! 🎶

(Spoken outro)
“Peas be with you, and also with your chips.”