When A Dragon Roach Clips Your Extraction

Incident Report to Super Earth High Command)

Filed By: Helldiver RubberDuck
Vessel: S.E.S. Soul of Audacity
Theater: Oshaune — Extraction Zone
Incident Type: Mass Casualty — Airframe Collision / Suspected Pilot Negligence
Involved Personnel:

Helldiver RubberDuck (Reporting Officer)

Helldiver Wolf

Helldiver Brasta

Helldiver MarioTube101

Pelican 1 Pilot (Unidentified. shot later.)

INCIDENT REPORT — FOR SUPER EARTH HIGH COMMAND

Pelican 1 completed onboard pickup of all four Helldivers following successful objective completion. Squad confirmed “Handled” and debrief chatter indicated low stress and positive morale. Immediately after liftoff, an airborne hostile (Dragon Roach) intersected Pelican 1’s climb vector. The hostiles’ wing clipped Pelican 1 mid-ascent; impact geometry indicates the airframe was penetrated in such a manner that all four passengers were forcibly ejected through compromised cabin structure. All four Helldivers suffered instantaneous fatal trauma.

Witnessed comms (verbatim excerpts):
• RubberDuck: “What?” / “That was treasonous.”
• Mario: “Why did we get swiped by the dragon roach?”
• Brasta: “Oh my god… we all died.”
• Wolf: “I will not forget that.”

Previous incident history on Oshaune indicates a pattern of questionable pilot judgment and multiple extraction anomalies. Given this recurrence, Pelican pilot competence on this theater is under suspicion. This is not an isolated fluke — Pelican handling and pilot decision logic require immediate investigation and retraining. Command recommendations include: temporary grounding of current Pelican pilot roster in theater, full flight data recorder (black box) retrieval and analysis, and a mandatory safety review for extraction protocols in high-threat airspace.

Mission status: Objectives completed prior to extraction. Casualty count: 4 KIA (RubberDuck, Wolf, Brasta, Mario). Commander note: while the immediate cause was hostile collision, pilot negligence/inadequate extraction procedures likely contributed to needless loss of life.

RECOMMENDATION: Suspend Pelican 1 pilot pending inquiry. Issue advisory to all SE pilots: do not engage high-altitude climb vectors near active large-air targets. Implement additional pilot training regarding evasive extraction maneuvers in dragon-roach contested airspace.

Filed by: Helldiver RubberDuck
FOR SUPEREARTH. FOR DEMOCRACY.

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