Breakdancing SEAF Soldier Glitch

Incident Report to Super Earth High Command

Filed By: Helldiver Rubber Duck
Designation: S.E.S. Soul of Audacity
Incident Type: Unintentional Dance Performance / Glitch Observation
Location: Automaton-Controlled Planet — Designation Classified

Summary:
While conducting a sweep through a secured corridor, this Helldiver encountered what initially appeared to be a lone S.E.A.F. Soldier. Upon greeting the individual “Ooh, S.E.A.F.”, it became apparent that the trooper was not in standard operational condition. The soldier began spinning on their back and shoulders, exhibiting erratic, rhythmic movements resembling a breakdancing maneuver.

Visual assessment confirmed this was not enemy propaganda, but a critical systems glitch. The soldier continued performing what could only be described as “The Democracy Spin” before collapsing into a ragdoll state. No hostiles were nearby, and no Helldivers were harmed, though morale briefly increased due to uncontrollable laughter.

Recommendation: Forward incident to Super Earth Technical Support Division for review — and possibly the Department of Culture, should “Democracy Breakdancing” become a sanctioned morale exercise.

FOR DEMOCRACY. FOR SUPER EARTH.

🎨 Pixel artwork by Cronos-99 — thanks for letting us use your art!