i'd rather not be disgusted w/ what i never wanted

i always knew this was doomed long before you
maybe i'm just more conscious of my habits
these walls that surround me...
you have an idea of me, that's all it is
is it actually tragic tho
i've watched a lotta tv in relationships
i tell myself every time that i will never do this again, i guess i finally meant it
it's been 12yrs since my last (serious) relationship
i fucked up all the other boiz
now we just watch the law & order svu marathon
it's not the tv's fault, it's the way we are wired
i got too much goin on n i can't let chu in on it
it IS painful to be so separate but it's still better than pretending
not reluctantly dying alone
it makes me sick when men wanna do things for me
the man in my head takes me out at 3am
YOU KNOW NOTHING
imagination beats the real thing
i'd rather cope w/ what i lack than reject what i have
i ain't mad bruh
every relationship just kinda happened
why do people try to force things to happen
i dunno how to not be alone
when you are yer own companion what could an actual man possibly do for ya
an actual penis, wow (but no actual ballsack...SAD!)